Monthly Archives: May 2013

Pausing amidst the chaos

Picture yourself standing on a large rock, waves crashing on every side, and as the raindrops hits your skin it stings you, seeping into your saturated clothing. The wind howls, whipping wet hair into your face, and freezes you right down to your core. The cold is so biting, you start to shiver, teeth shattering as you stand there, on that rock, with no way to escape. Your call for help is swallowed by the screeching wind. This storm does not care if you live or die, this storm would devour you and you can let it. You can let it beat you down until you are a shriveled heap of rotting flesh, food for the animals, fertilizer for the soil, or you can jump in and swim for shore. You might think to swim in such a storm would be certain death, but I would say that death is inevitable and if your going to die, you might as well do it with the kind of fierce ardour that will be remembered. And you want to be remembered. Not as the person who stood on the rock and let nature consume them, but as the person who jumped from the rock, into the crashing waves and swam for shore with everything they had.

Hit pause… I think I’m somewhere between the rock and the shore, they both look to be an equal distance, if I turn around I’ll be stuck on that rock forever, but if I keep pushing forward I might die. Maybe this is a bit melo-dramatic… hahaha, ok, it totally is, but I need to hit the pause button. For some reason life has been a little crazy recently, and I’m sure you can notice from the decrease in my posts from twice a week, to once every two weeks that I just haven’t been able to blog consistently. This is partly due the fact of being busy, and partly because I just haven’t had anything to say. When I was writing every day I had lots to talk about, but now I’m lucky if I can write once a week. My husband and I will also be moving to a new city this summer, we start apartment hunting in a week and a half.

Other things like school starting in September, I am working and saving like crazy for it, and course registration is next month. How does anyone even deal with this stuff, I’ll be applying for a leave from work for this. And have I mentioned how stress negatively affects my ability to be productive? So I’m taking a hiatus from blogging. It won’t be a permanent hiatus, but it might mean that if I only write one blog post every 2-4 weeks, then that’s all I write. Needing to keep up with all my social media outlets for my book has been an added stress  that I haven’t been able to keep up with and I feel bad about it. You can still follow me on twitter or facebook, since I try and post mini updates on there more often, but the blog will be quiet this summer while I restructure my life and get ready for some really big and exciting changes.

My goals are still the same, I still want to have my final draft finished by September, so I’ll try and keep you updated on how that’s going. But for now I need to focus on getting ready for school and moving to a completely different place away from everyone I know. It’s a lot more scary than I anticipated.


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The devil in the details

I can’t get over how much I’ve added just in the first 11 chapters. The more the story gets fleshed out though the more things I’m realizing need to be translated through actions and dialogue. The thing about writing a story in 1st person is that all the information is interpreted through Alice’s eyes. And she could very well mis-interpret things, she is only human after all and is only able to see things through her limited understanding of the situation. However how Alice interprets things is how the story is going to be understood and sometimes the other characters aren’t understood as well as they should be. Since I’ve gone back to seriously edit the story, I’m spending a lot of time re-working certain dialogue because that’s the only way I can translate the other characters feelings into the story.

At first I found it quite easy, but now that the story has become more complicated and people’s emotions are starting to run high, things are starting to happen etc, I’m really having a hard time finding the right words and the proper interpretation of actions to adequately describe my characters. I don’t want them to come across as heartless or one-dimensional, but I don’t want people to read it and say “Well that was really unrealistic of so and so to pick up on that in this situation”. For example, character feeling really anxious interprets another characters actions as not caring but they actually do care and therefore I somehow need to translate the one characters mis-interpretation all the while trying to portray the actual feelings of the other character through things like dialogue, expressions etc…  and it’s really… difficult.

Since hitting chapter 10 I’ve started re-writting whole paragraph’s and whole pages of dialogue. It really feels like this will be a totally different book by the end of the final draft simply because some of the conversations aren’t even remotely close to what the originals sounded like. The one good thing about all this is that I’m starting to understand my characters better. I really feel like I am experiencing their conflicting emotions or their anxiety or fear, happiness etc, whatever it might be and as such I can better translate who they are on paper. It just might take a really long time, like when I spent 5hrs on 1.5 pages, but hey, it turned into a really good 1.5 pages and I’m super excited about the scene I re-wrote and I hope when you get to read it, you will be excited too! So back to plugging away and we’ll see how far I get this week, since I work for most of it.



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