Monthly Archives: September 2013

I Save You

I dreamed about you again.
I went into the closet and you had forgotten your coat.
It was raining.
I worried that you would be cold out there, all alone,
But I didn’t know where you had gone.
I was scared.

In my dream I save you.
We talk like the bad stuff never happened.
I laugh.
Every night when my head hits that pillow
And I am spirited away to that far off land,
I meet you.

Today I dropped a knife.
I caught it wrong side up.
I bled.
Somehow the pain I felt didn’t compare.
Sitting on the kitchen floor,
I cried.

You went to a faraway land
Somewhere I couldn’t follow
I ran.
But I couldn’t catch up
Somehow you were gone.
I fell down.

Reality is a lonely dream.
Life doesn’t exist without you.
I hurt.
Every night when I fall asleep
We meet, we talk, we laugh.
I save you.

Categories: Creative Writing | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Show, Don’t Tell!

That’s right, my first assignment for Writing 100 is Show, Don’t Tell! This is a very popular literary adage, but this is the first time I’m hearing about it and I’ve got to say, I’m having a hard time writing. It seems like most artists have this extremely critical view of their own artwork, whether it’s writing, drawing, painting etc and I’m no different. When I sit in a room full of 130 other young talented writers I wonder how I could ever possibly compete. I strive for perfection, and get incredibly depressed if I fall short, easily slipping back into an air of worthlessness and hopelessness. Now, obviously this isn’t a competition to see who is the best at showing vs telling, but I am being graded on everything I do which sets a standard that I have to achieve. For this class specifically it’s 77% or in essence a B+. If you do not receive that minimum grade you cannot continue with writing in the second year, which completely defeats the purpose of me leaving house, home and life to pursue this dream. No pressure.

So what do I do? I don’t know, I THINK I have something written that is good, that evokes images in the readers mind but my professor keeps emphasizing CONCRETE, SIGNIFICANT DETAIL, and I don’t know if that’s what I’m doing. Am I using too much flowery language? Am I adding enough detail to show the reader the image I intend. Am I evoking the senses? When I say “apple blossom tickles my nose” do you smell the apple blossom? Am I trying to hard by describing an event vs a lone object or single action? The mark I get for this project doesn’t even matter, because as long as you hand it in you are guaranteed 100% on the assignment, and the grade you receive simply shows where your writing stands in the line of expectations. So maybe I’m thinking about this too much? Maybe I should just hand in whatever I have and then at least I know… but I can’t do that. My need for perfection outweighs the logic of the situation.

I’ll leave you with what I’ve come up with so far. Feel free to leave comments to let me know if I have the right idea at least.

This city has been saturated in a muted grey overtone for as long as I can remember. Painful memories that refuse to be forgotten hang like a black cloud over my head. Another day in this dark expanse of metal and concrete would surely find me at my end. I walk to school in the dull morning light, the delicate spring breeze cool on my warm skin. I stop at the bottom of that long, uphill climb, my attention drawn to a silvery sound. Shoulder length brown hair dances as bright pink cherry blossoms float around her like tiny spring raindrops. She looks at me; my breath catches in my throat. For the briefest moment a tiny star illuminates this city that is so ravaged with decay, flooding my meaningless existence with tender affections. I’m filled with a brilliant hope and something deep within my chest begins to stir. The sweet smell of honeysuckle tickles my nose as I approach and we continue up the hill together.

~Kat

Categories: Life or Something Like it | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I’m back!!

And as long as I don’t get SUPER bogged down with homework I should be around a lot more regularly. I’m hoping at least 1 post a week, but depending on my work load it might be more like 1 post every two weeks. Either way, I am getting back into my writing groove and am starting to feel more at home in my skin again.

So, update. I have officially moved, I have been through a terrifying and extremely boring student orientation and I just completed my first day of classes today!! I am now figuring out textbook costs because, my god, are they ever expensive. I mean seriously, students are poor, its not fair to charge them so much for textbooks!! I wouldn’t complain so much but I’m still waiting for my student loans to come in. I’ve still got 3 weeks to pay for everything so I SHOULD hopefully be fine by then.

You know when you’re a kid and your mom is walking you down this big long hall to your class and everything is unknown and you hide behind her leg because somehow she’ll protect you from the big scary something that’s waiting to swallow you whole. Well that’s how I felt today. At one point I thought I might be sick right there on the bus, but I managed to calm myself out of a very serious panic attack. I haven’t felt that anxious in a really long time and I would have given anything to have my mom sitting with me on the bus to school. But the important thing is that I made it. I might even be able to pass my courses with the adequate GPA needed to continue, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

My writing teacher commented this morning about how all of us in the room were the writers who excelled in high school, and how we were now competing with the best. Which wouldn’t be so bad, except I didn’t ACTUALLY get accepted into the writing program because my grades weren’t high enough. So, I’m competing with everyone who is better than me, in the hopes of proving myself worthy of the writing major. I’m not even a fine arts student, although “Operation 4291: Weasel way into Fine Arts” has begun with a wealth of successes! I even received an email about running for the Fine Arts student council rep! Which I don’t qualify for, but they THINK I qualify for it, and that is the key! I’ll keep you posted on this topic in the coming months.

I have two assignments due on Monday for French class. Welcome to Uni, hahaha, they don’t waste any time!  Wish me luck, I think I’ll really need it!  I’ve got a bunch of assignments due by the 19th. I’m really glad I only have 2 actual days of classes, I feel like the other 3 are going to be spent homework-ing!!

~Kat

Categories: Life or Something Like it | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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