Monthly Archives: October 2013

The Time is Almost Upon Us

Yes, in just 8 short hours it will be midnight of November 1st. This means all us die hard crazy writers who don’t have to be up in the morning will be sitting at our computers at 11:59 waiting for that exact moment it switches to 12:00 to start writing. Since my husband also decided to sign up for NaNoWriMo this is what we will be doing tonight. He took the day off work tomorrow. That’s right, die hard…. or just plain crazy. We plan on writing as much as possible all weekend since come next week we’ll actually have things like work and assignments.

But once this post is done I’ll be on my way to Walmart to purchase a lot of food that can be made super quick since we won’t be making time consuming meals. I also spent the last two hours cleaning. That’s right, my floors are vacuumed, my counters and stove are clean, the dishes are done. Since I can tell you right now none of that is probably going to get done over the next 30 days. Doesn’t that sound terrible? I know! But with any luck I’ll have a whole novel out of it.

At least I don’t have to feel bad about ignoring my husband, since we’ll be mutually ignoring each other in favour of writing. Now I have to go get ready for my Halloween party. For those of you who start NaNo tomorrow, good luck and happy writing!! We can do this!!

~Kat

P.S. I’ll try and keep blogging throughout, but if I fall behind you can keep up via Twitter and Facebook!

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NaNoWriMo

It’s official! I’ve signed up to my first NaNoWriMo! You might be saying to yourself, “But Kat, aren’t you already writing two stories and trying to attend university full-time?” To which I would say, “Yes, as a matter of fact I am.” I’m just crazy like that. In reality some of my other projects will probably get put on the back burner for the month of November. I’ll probably try and focus my energy on NaNoWriMo and school only, since I’ll need to average 1670 words a day to finish in time.

Last day of classes is Dec 2, and I have a couple big final projects, so November just got A LOT busier!! But I’m excited! When I first started writing in January I tossed around the idea of entering this, but didn’t know if I could actually do it. My best friend signed up at my encouraging though, so I thought if she could do it then maybe I could do it to! I decided to write the prequel book I’ve been tossing around in my head. I was originally going to write it after I finished my series, but it will work as a standalone book and even if it sits on my shelf for 3 years as a first draft, at least I have the first draft for when I finally do get to it.

I’m excited for this story though! It centers around Lainey, Cassius and Dawson, how they met, how they became siblings, and the whole dynamics of the Elemental realm, their societal structure, etc. I’m so stoked to really start exploring the lore behind my books, and I think it will help me in my writings of the book series since it will give me a better understanding of where my characters come from. Stay tuned! I’m sure you’ll be hearing from me and my NaNoWriMo adventures soon!

~Kat

P.S. Add me: Amara262

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That moment of realization

When you’re reading a scene from your book and seeing it with fresh eyes; with new eyes. I have this heavy scene later on in my book and for the longest time I only saw it from my main characters POV. Which makes sense because I’m writing it from First Person so when you read it, it’s strictly Alice’s viewpoint and how she interprets what’s happening, but tonight as I was reading it I saw it through the other characters eyes. And as I’m reading this scene through Dawson’s eyes I’m feeling more and more horrible.

I never really thought about it before, but tonight I saw. How Alice looked, what she was wearing, how her wet hair clung to her face, the turmoil of emotions in her eyes as they argued and how hard it was for Dawson. How badly he wanted to grab her and take her into his arms and he couldn’t. He could see the pain he was inflicting, had to watch her walk away and how much it absolutely killed him to do so.

And I felt like I had failed him as an author. I’m supposed to be in all of their heads, I’m the one who is capturing all of this and I missed it. Like Alice only saw her pain and what she felt, I missed his pain and what he felt. I felt terrible about it. I always had such a hard time getting inside Dawson’s mind, and really figuring out who is, but tonight I feel like I have a whole new understanding into his feelings and how things affect him. It makes me excited for future things.

Am I totally weird to feel bad about this? It made me actually reconsider writing my book in first person. I want the other characters to have a voice too, but I like how connected you are to Alice when its her POV. I have a lot of things to think about now. The more I flesh out my characters, the more I want to share whats in their head, but maybe I’m the only one who will ever know.

~Kat

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New Stories

This weekend I opened my book for the first time in about four weeks. I have barely even thought about it recently to be honest. I don’t think I care any less about the story, but I have been so busy with other projects I haven’t been able to really get into it. What I mean by that, is get into the head space of those characters. I know its not uncommon for author’s to take a break, but I’ve had more trouble than usual connecting with my characters and it’s making it hard to write the back story that I need without it sounding like its forced. I’ve been dealing a lot with personal stuff as you will notice from my last post and it hasn’t helped my creativity much, except to write extremely depressing pieces, hahaha.

Three weeks ago I started writing a story with a friend just for fun. It’s been really good for me because it’s forced me to stay in contact with another human being, but it’s also helped me storytell on my feet because she writes her character(s) and I need to respond with my character(s) and sometimes it takes time to write a post, but it’s pushed me into a new form of storytelling that I’ve never done before and I think it’s helped me grow as a writer. My friend has been storytelling for years and years, way longer than the measly 9 months I have, and I feel like I can learn a lot from her, so it’s been really fun. Also to trust someone else to read my first draft, since essentially that’s what it is, its my first reaction unedited, it kind of pushes me out of my comfort zone as a writer. It’s something I don’t feel comfortable doing in class when the prof asks us to share what we wrote, and with her even sometimes I feel scared or think “Is this good enough?” but she comes back and says how much fun she’s having and I’m like, ok, so I must be doing an okay job writing.

It’s a confidence booster, I think, and of course practice makes perfect, so to be writing all the time makes me really happy. I love writing, and I’m passionate about writing, so to fill my spare time with it really fills me with a lot of joy, especially when I can do it with my best friend. I think that’s probably another reason why I haven’t looked at my book. I’ve got a whole slew of new characters running around in my head now, on top of the characters in my book, and I’m trying to figure out how to go back and forth between them without losing my own self somewhere in the chaos. Our other story has slowed down a bit and we aren’t as obsessively consumed by it as we were when we first started, so I feel like now is a good time to try and come back to my book.

I can look at it with fresh eyes, and reenter their minds and dissect their thoughts with a clear head. I’m excited to reread the chapters I was editing before my break and see what I can add to them with the new things I’ve learned this past month. Because I have learned a lot, and I want to always apply my new knowledge and experience to  make my book the best book it can be.

~Kat

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Dealing (or not) with Social Anxiety

Happy Thanksgiving weekend, in Canada at least! I hope all my fellow Canadians have wonderful plans to relax, eat good food and enjoy good company while also getting an extra day off work. Usually missing a day of class means your teacher assigns you extra homework, but somehow in two of my classes I don’t even have homework. I don’t even have any readings assigned. I’m sure this is some kind of first year perk I will miss in the coming years. Overall I’m enjoying school, it’s really pushed me out of my comfort zone on so many levels and that’s probably good for me. I’ve almost made a friend, we sit in class together and that’s the most face to face human interaction I get in a given week (not counting my husband). You might think that’s really awful, but that’s actually really good for me.

I never realized how much social anxiety I actually had until I was tossed into a bunch of classrooms with 100+ people and forced to work in groups with strangers. When your constant thoughts are “Will they think I’m weird” or “If I don’t talk enough will they think I’m stuck up/not interested” and other things that are similar to the general “please don’t hate me I just have really bad social anxiety” it makes it really hard to actually talk to people normally. In the 6 weeks I’ve been in french class I have not talked once, except when forcefully paired with someone else (twice?). They say participation is important, and sometimes I really wish I would speak up, especially when I know the answer, but its like there is a stopper. No matter how hard I try, the words get caught in my throat and I start to have a panic attack.

I just recently started trying to give people friendly smiles. Even saying hello to the person next to me when I sit down is difficult. The profs keep driving home “This is where you will meet friends for a lifetime” and I’m like “If I can meet ONE person who isn’t scared off  by my extreme silence and awkwardness I will be happy”.  I am a social person, so I’ve been trying to keep in touch through social media so that I get some interaction with live human beings, but I still hardly leave my house. This is bad on so many levels because I have struggled in the past with agoraphobia, to the point where the only time I left my house was to go to work or get food and even that caused me anxiety. So I really have to force myself outside!

I guess the point I’m trying to get at here is, how do you deal with social anxiety? How do you learn to have a conversation with someone? People aren’t predictable, it’s not like lines you can rehearse. With the exception of “Hello, how are you”, after that you’re on your own. You have entered into the world of unknown conversation land. And sure practice makes perfect, but you actually need someone to practice with. Somehow there has to be a way to get over the intense fear of people. How do you erase so many years of bullying and people judging you, all so you can make a single friend in a strange city? I haven’t figured it out yet.

~Kat

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Bleed

Well, I’ve been pretty busy with school but I’m working hard! The nice thing about going to school for writing is a lot of my homework is writing and creative expression through words. Here’s a piece I handed in, hope you enjoy it!

She clutches the tiny piece of metal in her hand and presses it down into that pale cushion, senses hyperaware of the sticky substance slithering through every part of her body. With a quick swipe she watches small pockets of red pool at the surface of this peach landscape. Such a tiny scratch, yet it stings and her attention is momentarily focused on this moment. Her breathing becomes shallow and salty tears mix with her life force as it drips into the metal tub beneath her. That little sharp edge glides across a second time and a new stream mixes with the sanguine fluid already flowing down the drain. The tension inside her releases slowly, the aching pain a faint memory apart from her pounding heart that tells her she is still alive, trapped in this miserable existence. A whimper escapes tender lips, now raw where the skin has been torn by her teeth. This fragile world lay in pieces at her feet and she is left breathing, that red substance confirmation of the life within her… but her insides are turned to ash.

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